Scared-y CatTuesday, May 07, 2013
A nice, non-scary bridge
Day 7, Tuesday: The thing(s) you're most afraid of
There are probably too many things for me to list here, unfortunately. Most of them are just totally irrational, like my fear of bridges and heights. I have never flown, but I know that when I do, I'll be fighting a panic attack! I remember when I was younger, things didn't phase me very much, and I never would have considered myself easily scared. But, the older I have gotten, the more afraid of things I am.
Mostly though, I've come to realize that my biggest fear seems to just be of fear itself. It's one of my biggest worries, that something will scare me into a panic attack. My logical self knows that most of my fears are unfounded, and that I really have nothing to worry about. It's the losing control and falling into panic that's at the root of most of those fears, because once I do, it takes a while to bounce back. My nerves just totally get shot!
Luckily (and thankfully!) I've been able to mostly control this. I drive and walk over bridges. I know that if I ever get the opportunity to fly somewhere, I'll take it. I don't want to be controlled by my fears, and sometimes facing those fears full on really helps! And knowing that I don't have to be afraid if I don't want to. I rarely have attacks, and I can go months in between them.
It's still a struggle (oh stupid anxiety!) but, I always believe that someday I will get past it. I already do so much better, and I know that as time goes on I'll only continue to improve. Eventually I will realize deeper down than just my logical thoughts, that I really have nothing to fear!
Do any of you share this same thought? That your biggest fear is of fear itself?